How do you feel today? I feel extra shitty. Well, not that it is any different from other days, but today’s has a little extra flavour to it. I do feel shitty almost every day. But what do people know? They won’t know because most of the time, I don’t really show how I feel inside. I like to keep it that way. It’s easier for me. No people were asking me this and that. I don’t want to get this and that. Especially when I already feel shitty myself, and then I need to entertain questions about why I feel shitty.
Sometimes people get this assumption that I am happy. But have you ever think that maybe that’s how I portray myself to the world. I am this happy, cheery guy despite whatever shit people throw at me. I probably don’t care, and truth to be told most likely I don’t. But that doesn’t discount me from not getting hurt or not feeling like shit. I like the way I portray myself because it helps me avoid confrontations or unnecessary questions from others.
Have you heard of this term “honne tatemae”? The term comes from the Japanese. It has been in their culture for quite a while.
Honne and tatemae are Japanese words that describe the contrast between a person’s true feelings and desires (本音 hon’ne, “true sound”) and the behaviour and opinions one displays in public (建前 tatemae, “built in front”, “façade”).
Like the term described, one person hides their true self, while portraying a front or façade to the world and how they want others to see it. I did the same too. I rarely tell people stuff about myself, even to my closest friends. Heck, I don’t even know which of my friends I would consider the closest. A close friend usually knows about you. If none of them don’t, does this mean they are not really that close?
Maybe I am happy. Maybe I am miserable inside. You wouldn’t know. So I would really suggest you to stop assuming that you know how I am feeling, just from how I portray myself online or offline. Hell, do you know what you actually do when you assume? You are making an ass of u and me.