Another year passed by, today is just another day. You suck yesteryear, you suck today. That’ll never change. But hey, you could always wish that you’ll be better next year, again, like you did the year before and the year before that.
“I would be a better person this and years to come.” Now, that is total horseshit. Of all the years I’ve lived, this year probably projects my worse state in life, so far. I decided to take a year off dating. But there I was, involved casually with several people. Some may be no longer in the story, and some will be gone too. Surely the casual is fun, but not without any consequences.
It’s all started in February where I decided to move on with my life instead of hanging around moping, hoping that I can get back together with my ex. I casually flirted around on social media every chance I got, went out with a couple of people and fling with some. The worse part is that, to some of these people, I shouldn’t. But that is another story for another time.
Most of the time, I came home alone. Maybe sometimes, there were people over, but most of the time, no one was actually around. So there’s just me… by myself. At times, it struck me on how lonely I was on one of these nights. But that’s what single life is. How I miss having someone waiting at home when you got back from work like I used to. It’s just… nicer that way. I guess I did take that one for granted.
Now I understand why some people get married early. Just so that they can be with their partner, without having to worry about Jabatan Agama comes knocking on the doors. Maybe some believe that they want to spend the rest of their life together and not to be a sinner any longer. But how can one be so sure about their partner? How can they know that is the person they wanted to be with for the rest of their life?
As a guy, it would be lying if I said I didn’t take into accounts the girl looks when I’m approaching. Maybe some guys don’t, but I do. I do because I like cute girls. But cute is subjective. It doesn’t have to be cute in appearances, it can be in her character or personality. As long as I feel like she’s cute, she is. And I’ll like her. But appearances aside, it won’t matter how cute the person is if she doesn’t click in a somewhat similar wavelength as I did. And I meant that well. I know a girl that is quite cute, but she is a contradiction to what I am. So it won’t work.
No you dont know, last girl he really liked looked closer to poop than marilyn monroe
— Reeve Madsön (@madreeve_) November 29, 2017
Getting someone that was meant for you is hard, especially in this days and age, but I wouldn’t lose hope. Maybe one day I’ll found that person, and maybe I will find my own happiness as well. Not that I am not content with how I am now, but having a partner that gets you, and first and foremost able to tolerate you, is like finding a needle in a haystack. Not impossible, just hard. I hope that one day I will, doesn’t matter today, tomorrow, or the next 5 years.
Wherever you are,
Whenever it’s right.— Michael Bublé, Haven’t Met You Yet
For now, I will try to mend what I broke, and be a better person like I plan to. I’m gonna go cold turkey with the cigarettes, and maybe stay sober a little longer too. One can hope.
Till next time. Congratulation, self, for surviving another year.