What is love? Before you start throwing Haddaway song, let me stop you there. It’s not funny anymore. It’s overused and cliche. You should stop doing that. Just stop.
Love is a fickle thing. I’m not really sure what made someone love anyone. But I know sometimes I feel it, sometimes I don’t. But what is common that love is usually associated with partners. It doesn’t matter whether you’re hetero or homo, it’s the partner that you feel the love to. I know, you’ll probably rolling your eyes and saying it’s not limited to that. Believe me, I know. Say you’re saying what about motherly love, but the only reason you can feel the motherly love is that your mom loves your dad. In some cases, loved (I’ll get back to this one later on). Without the partner, you won’t be able to feel it. Heck, you won’t even be here reading this.
lust
/lʌst/
strong sexual desire.
But with your partner, do you feel love? But is it really love? Or is it just an obligation feeling that you should have towards your partner. Or worse, is it not lust? Most people build their relationship based on lust, especially the guys. Do you long for your partner’s company or his/her body? As a guy, I’ll be lying if I said that I do not for a second, thinking about the body. My past relationships had always been about lust. Yes, there is love, but on my side, it is mostly lust. It’s not that I don’t love them, cause I do, but at the time I long for the body more than I long love. I’m used to feeling that way, but I really don’t want to.
I remembered a tweet of a panel comic comparing love and lust. And tbh, I don’t score all for lust, but I do feel like I lust more than I love. But frankly, I don’t like it that way. I’m a hopeless romantic. I love romance movies. It’s the genre for me. And whenever I saw movies about innocent love, I envy the characters. I know it’s fictional and none of it usually happens in real life, but I want that. I want the innocent love. I want the feeling of appreciating the company. I want to be cute together. I want all that. But I don’t know if I’ll ever get that. Ever. Because my track record doesn’t look so good. I tried, and I failed. And I failed again. And again. At some point, I settled for flings. Because flings don’t have the complication of love. It’s just a fling.
But I never lost hope that one day maybe I will feel that. Because I want that. So much.